*grabs my own ass* nice
if u smell good, we cool
dick harder than flappy bird
It’s amazing how fast your mood can change after you step in some water with socks on.
i hate when guys say shit like “why would you cut your hair? guys don’t like girls with short hair” that’s like watching someone else make a sandwich for their self and saying “why are you putting tomatoes in it? i don’t like tomatoes”
This is fucking amazing.
Look who’s got their night sorted
ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened
i really hate this ‘ur other half is out there somewhere u just gotta meet them’ like fuck off im not incomplete im a whole person and i dont need anyone to ‘complete me’ the only thing i need is a pizza and not ur shit bye
THIS IS WORSE THAN THE “IF ONLY THERE WAS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO LOVED YOU” MEMES
i only accept apologies in cash
thank you im really good at clicking reblog
the worst part about ugly dudes is everyone defends them like ‘he’s really funny though’ or something but if a chick is ugly to someone they just straight up dirt like they might as well not even have a personality
im always like hell yeah i’d survive an apocalypse and then i remember sometimes I nearly faint in the shower because the water is too hot